Tallulah Talks Ed. 4

I am playing catch-up with documenting the ridiculous things that come out of my children's mouths. I think they are still funny, if old now, and I want to have it all typed out so that I can look back and laugh with them someday.



This was taken right at the end of my pregnancy and really captures how we were all feeling.



During my pregnancy....

Me: Can I have another one of your minieggs, Lu?

Lu: I just heard the baby say, "no more candy for me!"



Just before meeting Clementine...

Lu: Alright! Let me see the baby!



The next day...

Lu: Is the baby still here? Are there any MORE babies?!



After a hard day with Clementine and seeing her cry every time I put her down...

Lu: Well that baby super loves you!"



And more...

Lu: What did you say, Mama?

Me: Nothing, I was talking to Clemmie.

Lu: You silly! Clemmie is not real!

Me: ......



Lu: I think Clemmie will say, "Nooo! I don't want to be a mommy!" But I will say I would like a big tummy and a jiggly butt. I will like to be a mommy like you!

Me: .....Thank you, Lu.



Lu: I like a baby in our house!



Talking about the marriage she has already planned to her (already chosen) future husband...

Me: Do you think you will be a good wife?

Lu: Yes, but I will get mad at him. Like you get mad at Daddy.

Me: .....

We found this under our pillow one night. It's The Black Spot, from Theo. I think he meant it to be really scary but I laughed for a million years.



Theo's take on all this....

Theo: Well, I'll just sit here like a pregnant woman...



Theo: Now that we have three kids, I don't think we can handle it.



Theo: Look at my picture, Mama. It's our family...You're grumpy forever.

Me: ....



And finally...

Me: Lu, are you wearing underwear?

Lu: It's a surprise!

Tallulah Talks Ed. 3

The more pregnant I get the less I seem to be posting! You're lucky actually because you're mainly missing out on a lot of whining. Everything was going so well and I thought, hey, this isn't so bad! This is easier than I remember it! I'm tired but I can deal! Well, that was before even going for groceries made me want to roll over (preferably in the Nutella aisle so I can grab a jar on my way down) and die. I'm at the point where I don't think I could possibly be more tired and then, oh look, I am. I'll spare you any pathetic further details.

To confirm that I am in fact alive, here are some hoots from the last little while....



Tallulah presented this to me after preschool on Groundhog Day and proudly announced, "Here's my warthog!" She lives by her own rules, that girl.



Playing Chopped ...

Lu: One...two...three...Step back! I look at my plate and it's delicious.



After meeting a toddler...

Lu: Hey, you know that little guy was speaking Spanish!

Me: I don't think so, Lu.

Lu: He is! Because I could not understand him.

Me:.....

Lu: Ladies and gentlemints! I gotta tell you something.



Lu: When the baby gets here, are we going to keep him for a bit and then give him away?

Me: ....No.

Matt: You can't hide things under the couch, Lu. That's not cleaning!

Lu: UGH!

Me: What did you get from this talk, Lu?

Lu: I don't know. We talked about a lot of things!

Lu: Where are my slippers?

Me: I think they're in your room. Go have a look.

Lu (dramatic moaning) : I can just not go up and down, up and down!

Me::......



Lu: Ugh. You is stupid.

Me: Lu, you can't talk like that to me. Say sorry.

Lu: Sorry...that you is stupid!

And a few gooders from Theo...

Theo: Daddy, let's watch Star Wars...while Mama is on a trip.

Matt:.... HAHAHA

Theo: Is a booby trap where monsters jump out and attack you with their boobies?

Me: .....

Theo: Ok, who is your boyfriend?

Lu: Um...you!

Theo: Actually no. You have to pick a stuffie.

Me: Do you want me to eat that for you?

Theo: No....nice try.

Tallulah Talks Ed. 2 (heavily feat. Theo)

Lu: I like to sing more louder so that everyone can hear it.



Lu: Honey, do I look good?

Theo: ....



Lu: Oooh, mama, you're getting too big for this couch. It's not gonna fit you anymore.

Me: ....Thanks Lu.



In the last little while, Theo was the one who I was trying to hide my laughter from most often.

"Mama, this is a picture of you getting married. You're saying "AHHHHHHHHHH!"

Theo: Tallulah, if you keep yelling at me, you're gonna be k-l-p-f-e-y-. And that means no yelling!



Theo: Time to get the big black scissors! We need to cut your hair.

Me: No.

Theo: Aw, please? Just the hairs that are sticking up?

Me: No.

Theo: Awwwww mannnnnnn.



Me: Theo and Lu, what are you doing up there?

Theo (in a very loud whisper) : Quick Lu! Keep her busy!



On babies in Mama's tummy....

Theo: I don't think I want this baby. I heard they whine a lot for food.



On babies that used to be in Mama's tummy...

Theo: Remember Gus? Wouldn't it be funny if Jesus had boobies so that he was feeding Gus up there?

Me:.....

Lu:.....HAHAHAHA



On race...

Theo: So, when am I going to turn brown like Uncle Si?

Me: .....



Theo (after sitting awhile in silence, pondering and sighing) : Aw Mama, I wish you were white like us!

Tallulah Talks

This girl cracks me up on a daily basis so I've started saving the most ridiculous things she says in a running note on my phone. Hopefully you'll get a snort or maybe even a cackle.

Me: Lu, do you know that I love you?

Lu: Ssshhh! I'm eating.

To Matt on her playmobile nativity set....

Lu: I wrecked the mouse because I chewed him. Don't worry. I won't wreck Mary. She's not chewy.

Matt: .....

Lu: Remember that game where you hug me and I never hug you?

Me: ......

My friend, Katie: Lu, we have the same hairstyle!

Lu: Not really. Mine suits me better.

Lu: I look gorgeous. But maybe everyone at school will say Lu looks so cool. And I will say I'm not cool, that is for boys.

Me: Lu, girls can be anything boys can be.

Lu: (exasperated sigh)

On her nativity pageant....

Lu: I will be the baby Jesus!