Five Ways to Get Started on Your Health and Fitness Goals (And Three Things to Skip)

Ever since people started to realize that I've been to Blob Town and back, I have had many friends tell me that they want to make a change but they aren't sure where to start. I find myself giving out the same advice over and over again, so I thought it would be helpful to put it all down in one place. There's a lot of information out there and I personally found it to be very overwhelming when I was starting out. Here is my by no means professional opinion on how to get crack-a-lackin':

Progress between Thanksgiving and Easter. By the next holiday I should be able to arrive at family dinner wearing my booty shorts. Calm down, I'm kidding. In other news, I'm definitely getting stronger and faster. Watch out, world.



1) Track your food. You don't have to (and probably shouldn't) do this forever but it's the best place to start for a few days. Diet is really the key to feeling better and losing weight. You can exercise until you fall over in a pool of sweat but if you aren't watching your nutrition and your calorie intake, you won't see the results you want. It's easy to tell yourself you've eaten fairly well that day but it's another to see it all laid out with the nutritional value and calories added up. Even healthy foods, such as natural peanut butter, really add up if you aren't careful with your portions. You might be surprised at how little vegetables you actually eat (I was not one bit surprised because, when I first started, I was passionate about the fact that vegetables were generally gross.) A very popular and easy-to-use (well, as easy as this tedious stuff gets) app for this is called My Fitness Pal. Give it a go and have a good cry at seeing your typical real-life eating habits! It's a fun time.

2) Learn about food and clean eating. Diet is everything and, if you want to see results, you need to have a (fairly...more on that later) clean one. If you hate what you're eating every day, you aren't going to be able to keep it up. Read this great article on clean eating. Research healthy substitutes for the junk you want to take out of your diet. Explore clean-eating recipes and try them out. When I first started, I thought I would stock up on bags of frozen veggies and eat them every day. Such a bad plan. That was a gross sad soggy time in life! When I realized that you could roast broccoli, it was a game changer. If you want this to be a lifestyle change, you should probably not hate that life. Find a way to like the new way you're going to have to eat most of the time.

3) Drink more water. Up that water intake! Flush out those toxins! Keep yourself feeling fuller longer! Stay hydrated! Have to pee every two seconds! You probably need to be drinking a bazillion times the amount of water than you currently are. People will start to wonder about your bladder issues but truly, water helps. I also have a tea and sparkling water obsession that keeps water from getting too boring.

4) Pick one small, manageable food goal and stick to it. Like your white bread? Switch it for brown. Do you eat two pieces of toast in a sitting? Have one. Crave juice? Switch to lemon water. Do you like to stuff your face with treats all day long? Try indulging with a treat once a day instead. If you incorporate little changes over time, you will be able to stick with it and not feel overwhelmed. These little changes and substitutions are what make the biggest difference because they become a habit instead of a chore.

5) Pick a reasonable workout goal. Aim to go for a quick walk, ride a bike, or do a twenty-minute workout three days a week. Sign up for a class that happens twice a week. Pick something that's realistic or you will set yourself up to fail. When you accomplish your small goals, they too become habits that you can be proud of and build on.



What Not to Do:

1) Extremes. Saying you will never so much as lick a piece of chocolate again is ridiculous. Promising yourself that you are going to do two-a-days until you have rock hard abs is making a promise that is not going to happen. It's going to take time and that is ok! Extremes are overwhelming, mentally draining, and a good way to set yourself up to fail. If they aren't maintainable over a long period of time, they probably aren't the best idea.

2) Buy a bunch of products or spend money on quick-fixes. Seriously. I cannot stress this enough. No pill, no wrap, no shake, and no voodoo magic is going to do this for you. It takes consistency and determination and a lot of self-ass-kicking. Don't waste your money! Even if those products do work in the short-term, as soon as you stop taking them, the weight will come back on and the laziness will creep back in. It's much better to make changes that will lead to a maintainable healthy lifestyle.

3) Give up when you don't immediately start to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger or when you eat two cupcakes at your kid's birthday party. It. Takes. Time. Mistakes will be made. It might be slow progress but slow progress is better that no progress, right? This will probably be the cheesiest thing I'll ever say but you just gotta think of that quote. You know, the one about a year from now you will wish you had started today - Dora the Explorer. Ask yourself if you want to use today to move closer or further away from your goals.



There you have it! My sage wisdom that I know intuitively learned through a lot of trial and error and frustration. This is what works for me and I hope it's helpful for you as well. Remember to take progress pictures when you start! It's painful now but you'll be glad you did when you're looking back, sitting on your newly-toned healthy butt.

New Year New Sass-Level

You're probably thinking that New Year's resolutions are stupid and cliche and I would completely agree with you. I don't know what came over me at 10:40 on a Friday night. I thought, "hey Tara, you know what would make you even more ridiculously cool? If you made one of those lists you love so much. You know, the ones where you plan out your life!" I said to myself, "planning, lists, more sleep deprivation...who could resist?"



So here I am, six New Year's Resolutions later. I am trying to recall what my resolutions were last year and the ones that I do remember, I am proud to say that I actually kept. I mean, I think so. Hopefully remembering things wasn't on the list. I figure it's a good thing I'm writing these down this year to have some accountability.

How did you know, Great Wise Fortune Cookie?!

The theme for this year is going to be The Abels Gonna Do What the Abels Gonna Do. I have noticed lately how much time and worry I have invested in thinking about what everyone else is doing, how great all of their decisions look, and how they might be feeling about my life. Isn't that crazy? My entire life I dreamed of the day where I could make my own decisions and stick my tongue out at whoever said anything about it! I wouldn't say that I necessarily even consider it in my actual decision-making process but I sure do spend way too much time thinking about how I will defend or explain my decisions to others even though, as a chronic over-thinker, I have put a great deal of thought into any conclusion I've arrived at. Trust me, I have already sat there and picked even the most carefully crafted decisions apart like a cheese-string (but not like the characters they boast on the package. I can never figure those out!) As it turns out, making your own decisions is one of the most difficult things about motherhood or adulthood. There is no one to pat you on the back and say, "oh boy! That was a really great decision! 10 points for Griffindor!" It's mucho confusing and silly to look at a family and think, "those kids are so calm and never whine. Maybe I should parent more like that mom!" Or, "man, that exact sequence of perfect decisions really worked out well for her! I should try that." Pair thoughts like that with this laughable desire to please people (actually, I think it's the desire to avoid criticism because I hate it so! Being right all the time is so much more fun) by living up to some impossible standard where you're everything to everybody and you have an anxiety attack to call your own! The realization that this is impossible is far from new but I think I haven't really had the guts to put a stop to it in my own life before. I'm sick of the self-doubt, the stress over every little decision, the worrying about how people will view me. It pains me to admit that I was even doing that but if I'm honest with myself, I was. Enough of that. I've worked way too hard to become independent for this and twelve-year-old-Tara would be ashamed of me! This year, I'm going to do what I believe to be best for my family and myself and you know what? Maybe sometimes I will be wrong. That's ok! Alright, it's not really ok but I need to learn to deal with imperfection or failed plans. Something not working out is better than never trying out of fear, worry, or being a little too comfortable. So, talk away, people! I will be the first to tell you that Tara Abel is crazy, sassy, stubborn, and not going to listen to a word you say.



This year I will try to:

1) Start getting up before the kids to workout and shower.

This is a most unfortunate thing that needs to happen. Waking up is one of the world's worst evils, especially when you've stayed up way too late to try to experience the long-lost art of silence and then didn't get anything close to a quality sleep because Clementine. However, if I want to break my lazy cycle before TLC sends me an invitation to be on my own show, 19 Unnecessary Snacks and Counting, I need to make sure I'm fitting my workouts in. I envision this as me, opening wide the double doors to my room, showered and in one of those trendy crop-tops all the fourteen year olds are wearing (?!?!?!) that will show off my abs of steel, as little birds flutter around my head while I sing out, "Good morning, sweet darlings!" This will be a big improvement to being woken up to a small baby repeatedly slapping my face, while Theo whispers loudly through my bedroom door about how hungry he is to the background soundtrack of Lu wailing about how the snow is preventing her from wearing her bathing suit to church.



2) Make family time, dates, and friends a priority.

Life gets busy but we should never be too busy for this. Keeping Friday nights as our usual family night was working really well for us. We just need to find some sort of routine to keep up our kid-dates and couple dates.



3) Figure out what I'm doing in regards to going back to school and where I want that to take me.

This is too complicated to even get into but basically it's happening in some way, shape, or form. Just try and stop me, Life's Million Obstacles.



4) Less complaining and being negative.

Sometimes I'm listening to someone talk and I'm thinking, jeez, what is your problem? You sound like a cow. That someone is me. I seem to always be able to find something to whine about and it's ridiculous. I try to always be honest but, when someone asks how I am, it's ok to say that I'm doing pretty well instead of "WELL, LET ME TELL YOU!" There are so many bigger problems in the world than who cut me off in traffic or how my children can only ever find pants with holes in them. Sometimes this negative whining is about other people - even if it's just in my head - and I want to cut that out too. People are doing the best they can and the way they go about that is not always going to be the way that I would. End of story. I'm pretty sure this was one of my resolutions last year and while I can say that I have improved, I'm definitely not cured yet. Get it together, Tara.

Look at those poor children, playing on their own!

5) Play with the kids for half an hour every day.

People without kids and super mothers are probably gasping and wondering what I do all day that this needs to become a resolution. Mothers like me, however, know how tough this can be between ballet and school and dinner and diapers and cleaning bathtubs (ok, ha, you got me. Like I ever get around to the bathtubs...). I've been getting better at this but I want it to be a concrete habit by the end of the year.



6) Pray the rosary once a week

Last year, I was determined to start actually praying every day. I know, to all you saints out there, this probably sounds like some sort of joke but it was truly something I had to really work at. I set alarms on my phone for a while and everything! I would have all these grand notions of sitting in silent meditation for hours on end and - surprise! - that never happened. I finally had to realize that there was not going to be this perfect moment and that I just had to start somewhere. For me, it was before bed. Nothing elaborate but because I started simply, it's become an actual habit that I can now build on. So, here we go!



No New Year's post would be complete without me obnoxiously signing off with NEW YEAR NEW ME, BABY! xxxooo mwah mwah mwah. For real though, I hope you had a great weekend, everyone.



P.S. If you want to listen to something that makes you holler out-loud to yourself in your kitchen, "Yeah! That's right! Do what's best for your own family!" take a listen to this episode of the wonderful Fountains of Carrots podcast.

I'm Still Alive I Think

See, they can practically teach themselves while I run away to Mexico!



Things have been all shades of nuts lately but here are some quick updates.



Clementine is almost eight months old and I'm still acting like she's a newborn! I don't know if I'm just trying to soak up every minute of her babyhood because it's been so long since I've had a baby or what. All I know is I'm carrying her around every minute of the day, haven't ever left her for more than an hour or two, and do everything in my power to prevent her from crying. It may sound loving but it looks a lot like crazy. I'm very attached to her and she to me, even though I think we are driving each other insane. I really do think I need to start taking more time for myself though, so I'll work on that.



Homeschooling is probably best left to people who have no other option but to stay in their houses at all times while they are waiting to be transferred into witness protection. People will tell you how much fun they are having with their children all day and how the joy is just reigning down upon them - #blessed. Well, as Maury would say, the results are in and it has been determined that that is a lie! At least for our family. Homeschooling IS fun, about 10% of the time. The rest of the time it is a lot of work, my friends. I'm not even talking about the school portion. The actual schoolwork is hardly a problem at all and truly one of the best parts of it. The actual hard part is the having your kids around all day so that, in order to be alone (EVER) you need to hide in the bathroom with the doors locked, stuffing chocolate in your face. It's having your kids, who previously got along so well, start to be at each others' throats because of how much time they are now spending together. It's having to take them all grocery shopping. Every. Damn. Time. It's my house that is in such a state it could give the people on hoarders a run for their money. As an added bonus, I also get to listen to them have philosophical arguments all day, with titles such as Stop Looking at Me, Don't Look out my Car Window, I've Never Seen that Toy in my Life but All of a Sudden it's my Spirit Animal, and my personal favorite I'm Not Singing That Song About You I am Singing it To Myself. Needless to say, it's killing me. I will say that there has been some good in all this. I have been able to see Theo start to read and spell and the excitement that lights up his face when he realizes that. I have been able to spend deliberate time with them every single day. We have gotten to spend a lot of time with our fellow homeschooling friends and had many new experiences. We've read some great books, I was reminded that I should never ever go into anything involving math because its the worst, and we don't have many early mornings. I have also been able to get to know myself even better and confirm that I am indeed an introvert, who loves silence and cleanliness and organization. The jury is still out on whether all of that and my burning desire to torture myself are going to be enough to make me do this to myself again next year. I thought it was only fair to come clean so that all of you who thought I was losing it for attempting this experiment can feel really good about yourselves for being right and all those who are saying, "I don't know how Tara does it!" or pondering trying it for themselves can do so with eyes wide, wide open.



Someday soon I am going to get up the nerve to post a fitness update. My hesitation in making myself get up to take progress pictures should give you a good idea how it's going. It's going lazy. I have good spurts and then a day or two will go by where my workout just doesn't happen. Soon those days are weeks and here I am! Re-watching The OC like I'm twelve instead of squatting this butt into a shape that actually resembles a butt. At any rate, progress has been made, many pounds have been lost, and a new and exciting workout program has been found. More on that soon.



We're renovating our basement into an actual useable space. This means re-arranging my house a bit which is both thrilling and stressful. Pictures to come. I am more than overjoyed to have a place to shoo the lego, googly-eyed craft supplies and my children.



It's almost Christmas and for once in my entire life I can say that I have successfully finished all my shopping well in advance. This was mainly due to me realizing that online shopping is the greatest thing in the world. I just couldn't even with the actual mall this year. I basically step one foot in there, immediately feel overwhelmed, and start crying and blowing my nose on a stranger's sleeves. I thought I would do everyone a favor and stay home this year and I will never do it any other way! We have successfully forgotten to use our new Advent wreath every single night, my kids have those scandalous Advent calendars with actual chocolate in them, and we haven't made a single manger craft that wasn't arranged by someone else at a kid's program. So if you feel like an Advent failure, you're not alone. My cure is to stop pretending like it's going to happen and just accept that this is who I am. A big fat Advent failure who can read Christmas books, maybe make ornaments or bake cookies to give, send up some extra "HELP ME, GOD!" prayers and participate in the events the church is offering. Finally, I am ok with that and am a calmer mom for it. Feel free to stay off Pinterest and be an Advent failure along with me!



Well, I better go clean something so that someone can come and make a mess of it twenty-one seconds later!